Handling Oxbridge Rejection

How to allow yourself to process your emotions and stay positive for the future.

Now that both Oxford and Cambridge have released their decisions, there will inevitably be applicants who have been given an offer, and those who haven't. If you've found yourself in the latter, it's natural to feel disappointed, hurt, and even angry.

Getting into Oxford or Cambridge is a big goal and a dream for many. It's important to remember, though, that all rejection is simply redirection, and in fact 'rejection' is probably too personal of a word to describe not being given an offer.

Read on for our best tips on handling this sometimes disappointing decision.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

Rejection stings, and it’s completely normal to feel disappointed.

Allow yourself time to process your emotions, but you should do this in a healthy way. Don't spiral about it alone, but consider venting to a friend, talking it through with a teacher, or simply taking a break to reset.

Process your rejection, but don't dwell on it. Not getting an Oxford or Cambridge offer means just that and nothing more — it's not a reflection of your capability or intelligence.

Remember that it's not personal

Rejection doesn't define you as a student.

We know it's very easy to say not to take it personally, but the Oxbridge application system is not some mystical process separating the smart from the less smart. Oxbridge is simply oversubscribed. Don't underestimate the sheer amount of applications Oxford and Cambridge get. There are thousands of applications each year, and every single one of those was from other very bright students. You will have been competing against only the best of the best, and you are the best of the best.

There are not enough places available to house every single qualified student that applies; it's about demand and supply. It is not about who is worthy and who isn't.

Get excited about your other offers

Sometimes the shadow of Oxbridge can loom so large on your UCAS application that you haven't actually allowed yourself to get excited about your other offers.

The UK is full of wonderful universities, all with their unique charm. We really recommend immersing yourself in your 'second choice', whether that's Durham, Bristol, Edinburgh, or anywhere else. Try to visit the city, talk to people who are current or former students of that university (perhaps your family or friends could come in handy here), and get a feel for what it would be like to attend.

Anecdotally, plenty of students get disappointing rejections and then thank their lucky stars that they ended up where they did. There is no reason that shouldn't be you!

Explore your options

But, if you're really stuck on Oxbridge, you can explore your options.

Some people choose to take the risk and apply again next year. You should always talk to your school counsellors, your teachers and your parents to see if this would be right for you, but taking a year out can have its benefits.

Many students choose to take a gap year, sometimes to work and save some money for university, sometimes to travel and see the world. Internships and study abroad programs are a particularly good way to see the world and earn some money, all while adding to your CV.

This does not necessarily have to be the last chance you have to attend Oxford or Cambridge. You can always apply for postgrad, which tends to be less competitive, and you'll have a better chance of getting in with the strong grade you're likely to get at the university to attend.

Consider the positives of an Oxbridge rejection

Oxbridge does have its cons! Consider the unexpected positives that might arise from not going to Oxbridge:

• You'll be top student at the university you attend

• It will likely be easier for you to achieve a First at other universities (Oxbridge are famous for diluting their students' grades), making job applications much easier

• You'll probably have much more free time at another university, and this will allow you to have the proper 'university experience' without struggling to balance social life with an intense Oxbridge workload

• Less stress = better health, and health is wealth.

Be proud of yourself for applying in the first place

To even be able to apply for Oxbridge means that you will be have been one of the best students in your class. Rest easy in the knowledge that you are clearly very bright.

The Oxbridge application process is a lot more complicated than most other UK universities, and it takes a huge amount of effort to show up to every step -- from writing the perfect statement, to sitting that admissions test, to showing up to a stressful interview. This was a massively pressurised process for you as a student, on top of all your commitments and mock exams at school, so you should be very proud of yourself for putting in a huge amount of work.

It takes a lot of bravery, talent, and effort to apply to a place like Oxford or Cambridge. Well done for choosing to in the first place.

Stay motivated and keep moving forwards

You're only 17 or 18, with the whole world in front of you and your whole life ahead of you!

Stay motivated, and keep working at what means the most to you. Oxbridge most certainly isn't everything, and you'll find that you'll likely consider this 'rejection' a great turning point (for the better) years from now. Focus on the bright future ahead!

You might not feel like it, but you should be exceedingly proud of yourself

To even be able to apply shows that you are a fantastic student, and the team at Avalon are certain you will do excel at whichever university you attend. Wherever you go, you'll thrive.

This is just the beginning of an exciting journey!